Dan savage dating after high school
Throughout high school and college, some of my relationships overlapped, and some were purely dishonest.But society told me I had to be with one person at a time, with the goal of choosing one person forever. After a really great, long-term, successfully monogamous relationship ended, I was suddenly single in my late twenties and enjoying the freedom and the variety. Adam was fun and our chemistry was fantastic and rare, and though we kept it strictly physical, with those boundaries clearly defined throughout, spending time together was becoming the highlight.I also get and respond to questions from asexuals, and I've urged sexuals not to regard asexuals as defective—or, for that matter, to view committed-but-sexless relationships as defective.
This is my first serious relationship, but not his (I’m 22, he’s 35).Is that the only way I could find happiness in a relationship?It's not something I want to do—but at this point, I don't see any other options. Consequently, AAA, people tend to write me when sex (needing it, wanting it, getting it but not the kind you want, etc) is the problem, and sex (in some new and improved form) is often-but-not-always the solution.It occurred to us that we could keep the excitement and variety, and still let ourselves fall in love with each other. And since then I’ve gotten a lot of questions about how we make it work and why we would even do that in the first place.I get that it can be hard for a lot of people to understand.
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